I feel that compromise is necessity in everyday life.  On the way to work, I let a car out in front of me.  At work, I am the middle man, and at home in my realtionship, its mostly compromise that gets me through.  It was the supremem buddha who once said that either extreme is not the way, but the middle is the way.  Everything in moderation. And here's to you, Guatama.

If I had the support (financial, emotional, etc.) I would quit my job, quit school and travel.  If money were not an issue, I would love to see the world. No cell phone and no watch (except for arrival/departure times at the airports). I'd like to spend some time in Hawaii, some in Norway, Iceland, Africa, India, Japan and Australia, just to name a few.  I would like to travel through all of the terrains, climates, see all of the differences in foods, bugs, traditions and cultures.  No matter where we come from or where we are going, we are all essentially the same.  We experience the same emotions, we think in similiar fashion.  We have the same body parts. 

For me, I don't believe it is a single emotion that I struggle with, as much as it is my own personality and flaws.  Not that I find everything I do absolutely dreadful, but quite on the contrary.  I, unfortunately at times, feel that I do things right and that everyone else does them incorrectly, or not up to my standards.  It's not that I don't make mistakes or overlook things.  I absolutely do.  I am human after all.  I also believe it is ok to make mistakes occasionally.  Everyone does.  But for some people, it seems they just don't learn from their mistakes.  I also have some sort of a mental block.  I feel that if I can do something, anything in particular, that someone else, anyone else, should be able to do the same thing at the same caliber as I.  I am trying to learn to cope with this one in particular.  I certainly am unable to run long distances(or short for that matter) so in that respect I keep trying to remind myself of this example.  But it is so difficult.  Fat people can't run a marathon and some people just can't seem to learn from one certain mistake.  It is a work in progress.  This example doesn't make the mistake any more pallatable, but I'm working on it.

When I was little, probably about elementary school age, I wanted to be a teacher.  I know it's a cliche' but I do believe my teachers inspired me.  I looked up to them.  It seems so silly but so innocently sweet now to look back on it. I remember holding "class" in my bedroom, where my bed were the desks, I would cram my coloring books full of school papers like the teachers had when they would return from making copies for the class.  I think in my heart I still hold that want in my heart, however the real world is never as easy as play.  I still may teach once I get my nursing degree, we shall see.  I find it fascinating that the ideals we hold as children can be with us through adult hood, and hold our heartstrings so tightly.

A few months ago, I was voicing my opinion on every subject, every mistake that was being made by every person I work with.  A few weeks ago,I was pulled into the office of the managers, told I was alienating everyone I worked with and I promised the managers I would try to behave.  That was two weeks ago. I have done my part as far as not allowing my tongue to yell out certain profanities and other not so nice wordities. However, the mistakes continue.  I have a hard time dealing with inattention to detail since it is so easy to pay attention to in the first place. It only takes a second.  and yet it continues.  The other girls in the back office are still dealing with the ignorant, perfectly preventable mistakes that continue to occur. I suppose I lashed out enough that everyone is walking on eggshells around me, but at least I got my point across and they are not making the same mistakes with me, however, I see it goes on.  I am having an extrememly difficult time understanding why, when it is no longer occuring with me, it must continue? Simple things such as filing an enevelope under the correct letter of the alphabet is being ignored.  So I guess I can see why mgmt wants me quiet is because its easier to have me quiet than to make the other handful of people pay attention to detail.  I get that. It's lazy, but i get it.  But what am I missing? It's not hard for people to tell you what to do.Often times it is harder to do things on your own. It is not hard to file envelopes under the correct letter of the alphabet. Why is these same 2-4 people allowed to continue on their path of idiocracy and ignorance while the rest of us suffer from the ramifications? I understand I should play nice, but my standpoint is: We are only human and we make mistakes. It is imperative we learn from them so that they not be repeated.
~Cheers to the grey haired club!

Right now, just about everything in my life is going right.  I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend that I absolutely adore, who loves me, a family that is close and healthy, and a job which I am secure in, which I enjoy.  It is this year that I am going to be getting engaged, starting clinicals for nursing school and trying to remain calm during all of this.

The most difficult thing for me to ask for is help from someone else.  Whether it be money, time or minor assistance. I feel that if I ask for help, it indicates that I have failed. I know in my brain that 's a silly concept and that everyone needs help at times, but my soul is too independent. I am always willing to help others, especially those that are willing to help themselves because I can relate to their situation.

The great Albert Einstein once spoke words of the greatest wisdom to which I can relate.   "If something is in me which can be religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it."

It has come to my attention as of recent that I have been taking my family for granted.  It saddens me to think that the very people I am connected to the deepest, I am not giving them the appreciation they deserve.  Unfortunately, everyone has the tendency to take everyday things for granted.  We are using our 'accomadation" senses.  We cannot do anything different with them, so our brain goes on to the next stimulus.  I hope in this new year, I will show more admiration and appreciation towards all of those which I love.

As a whispered wish for the new year, I wish for health and happiness for all that surround me in my day to day life, as well as those that surround them.  It seems as of the latter of 2008, many people fell upon grave misfortune.  It is my hope for them to be able to be happy, healthy, and prosperous, and allow for them to encompass the riches they do have, and to not dwell on what they do not.